Lamenting the Last While Celebrating the First

Motherhood is a celebration of firsts. We wait with anticipation for the first smile, laugh, and steps.  The list goes on and on.  What we talk about less often is that motherhood is also filled with a series of lasts. The last moments often go by unnoticed, just a blip on the radar of our chaotic lives. Other times they land on our shoulders like a ton of bricks. Last week was my little man’s first field trip. As I prepared myself for this momentous event it hit me, this is the last time I will celebrate a child’s first field trip. Motherhood is confusing, especially when excitement and sadness fall on your heart at the same time.

Enjoying the excitement…

As the days grew closer, my little man’s excitement grew exponentially. The questions started, “Where are we going mommy? Are you coming too? Is daddy coming?” I answered each question, his smile and excitement filling my heart with joy. The excitement of a four year old boy is infectious. But the heart is a funny thing and feelings can switch on a dime.

When the feelings switch…

As often happens to me at this stage of motherhood, I realize how fast my little man is growing up. He is going to school and making friends. Independence is starting to form and he wants to do things on his own. He is no longer my baby, as he tells me all the time. No babies here, only big kids. All these things are so good, but they also come with a bit of sadness. No matter how hard you try to enjoy all the little moments, they fly by at the speed of light. You blink and you are doing something for the very last time.

Celebrating what is yet to come…

As moms we cheer for every first. We celebrate each stage and each new skill. When feelings of loss come to invade our quiet moments, try to turn your heart to celebrating what is yet to come. Motherhood is forever. Do not believe the propaganda; motherhood does not end when your youngest child turns 18 years old. Motherhood changes and with it our role as moms change. When I start to lament the last preschool field trip or the last day of elementary school, I try to look ahead to the next leg of the journey. The moment of sadness for the end of a stage is just another blip on the radar of the long road ahead.

As I maneuver my way through mixed emotions, I push myself to focus on being in the moment. Lamenting the last is fine as long as it does not place a shadow of sadness over the celebration of a momentous first. We went on our Apple Orchard adventure. I smiled and laughed and enjoyed the time with my little man as he picked apples and pumpkins and rode a wagon pulled by a tractor on a bumpy dirt road. Now I wait for the next turn on the road of our mother and son journey. I also wait to celebrate and lament the next round of firsts and lasts. My adventures in Motherhood are far from over, the next first is just around the corner.

Want more posts on Motherhood, check these out:

“You Must Wear Deodorant” and Other Awkward Mom Talks

Beginning a New Season of Motherhood