Some of my most profound thoughts come when I am listening to the radio in my car. Put words to music and you are guaranteed to hit me right between the eyes and get my brain moving. Today’s catalyst for deep thought is Matthew West’s Truth Be Told. I have two important lies we all need to stop telling ourselves in 2021. Let’s embrace the truth and create a more uplifting space in the coming year.
Lie number one you’re supposed to have it all together
And when they ask how you’re doing
Just smile and tell them, “Never better”
I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything is FINE! How often do these words flow from your mouth when the truth is everything is anything but FINE? For some unexplained reason, we think we are supposed to have everything all together all the time. An impossible goal in any universe. Not only do we not need to have it all together, but we also do not need to pretend like we do. It is acceptable to say XYZ is happening right now and things are tough or I am sad right now. Our feelings are always valid, whatever those feelings are.
Lie number 2 everybody’s life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds
And your secrets safe with you behind closed doors
Ever log onto Instagram and think – I wish my house was that clean and well decorated; I wish I looked that put together picking my kids up from school; Wow, she’s put together even on her 3 mile run. One of the drawbacks of social media is we are inundated with perfectly curated feeds full of beautifully put together people and their beautiful lives. Notice I said curated. In the land of the social media influencer, you only put your best foot forward. All the mess and the stress stays behind closed doors and locked in the closet. Yes, everyone has mess and stress. We need to be honest about it. Shaming people for living in reality is ridiculous and damaging on so many levels.
Live Your Full Truth
Life is chaotic, messy, beautiful, and crazy. You are entitled to live and love your full and perfect truth. Life does not need to be curated. Celebrate with others when things are great, but also share when things are not. Give your emotions space and allow them to flow naturally. When emotions stay bottled up, they tend to grow in order to push out of their allotted space. Keeping emotions hidden often intensifies them and makes the negativity last longer. We need to let emotions flow and run their intended course.
I can hear you now – Nothing good happens from me sharing this mess with others. I disagree! Sharing your mess gives you an outlet for your emotions instead of allowing them to eat you alive. It also gives you the opportunity to hear other perspectives that may help you heal or find a solution to an issue. Finally, by letting people know the full truth, you may find that people are ready, willing, and able to offer practical help. If you say everything is FINE, people will believe you! The village can only offer assistance if they know help is needed.
Now that these two dangerous lies have been brought to your attention, what is your next move? 2021 is about to begin, let’s look at it as a year of endless opportunities. Opportunities to be REAL, TRUTHFUL, and our FULL AUTHENTIC SELF. If the people around you are true and loving friends, they will fully accept and embrace you and your sweet, chaotic mess. Let them in! People who are not up for the 100% real you are likely not the people you need to surround yourself with every day. Find your true friends and enjoy life with them.
Say Goodbye to 2020 and living the lie that EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. No need for perfection. No need for everything to be fine, just fine. Let’s all be REAL. Embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly and find a more uplifting and authentic 2021.